Mom and Pop Business Challenges

It’s no secret. We have learned a lot from growing Spa Tech Institute together since 1988. We recognize that there are other people who idealize the concept of working with a spouse while there are others who say “No Way!” Our advice is, it depends on who you are. It can be the most rewarding and the most challenging experience of your life .

It will bring up all of your strengths and weaknesses. If you want to evolve emotionally, working with a spouse will give you lots of growth experiences. At the core, relationship and working partnerships require some mutually exclusive behaviors. This is why many successful couples have found that clear boundaries are essential to success. Limiting the overlap so that each person has autonomy in what they do is essential but also can produce a silo or compartmentalization within a company. The other dynamic which is particularly hard to manage is critical feedback. Whereas in a relationship criticism is a delicate subject, in business you must give each other honest and constant feedback. Navigating these areas requires discipline, patience and compassion. Choosing language carefully and using “I” statements are key. Working with therapists or coaches with experience in this area can be very helpful.

Nancy and I met at a Network Marketing meeting that Nancy was hosting. I was a software engineer at Lotus Development and was working in two start up companies at the time and had been in a high pressure time management class all day. Nancy was a polarity therapist, teacher and entrepreneur with her business, Polarity Realization Center in Gloucester. One of Nancy’s graduates, Margie Flint, brought me to the meeting. The polarity session with Margie was amazing and she was educating me on supplements that might be useful. I was extremely depleted at the time and she was right. The meeting was enlightening. Nancy and I had very little interaction at the meeting but that night Nancy got a message in a dream that we needed to meet. We got together to talk about business and had an amazing time. We rapidly and unexpectedly fell in love, got married, worked to build a couple of Network Marketing organizations and eventually, after building a house, decided to work together in growing the polarity school. It was clear to me that Nancy had an exceptional ability that needed to reach as many people as possible. She did excellent energy work but could only work with a limited number of people. Being able to expand this so more people could carry on the work was the driving force in growing the business. The world is in dire need of the level of healing that comes from polarity therapy, massage, and holistic aesthetics. The expansion into cosmetology was another surprise. But in time we discovered the convergence of appearance, skin health, energy work and bodywork was extremely powerful.

There’s no question that working together can be a roller coaster. It requires emotional intelligence and a lot of love and patience. It also requires commitment, a solid mission driven orientation and persistence. The challenge of both people being under stress at the same time and having no sanctuary to return to at the end of the day can be overwhelming. Finding balance, particularly family/work balance, can be extremely elusive. Over time you must find a way of creating sanctuary when you are not working. Another key factor is that there is an inherent tendency for familial patterns with some employees, consultants and customers to exploit the mother/father dynamic. You know the one where if your father says no you would ask your mother? Learning to avoid this requires constant vigilance. You must learn to check and direct the question or request back to the right person. Consistent communication is also critical. This is why we highly recommend that there is a well developed policy and procedures manual so everyone is on the same page. Your biggest task is to learn to say, “What does it say in the manual?”

If you can successfully navigate the many challenging areas, you will have the opportunity to know another human being to a greater degree than most people will ever experience. You will grow personally and if you are lucky, you will grow something together that brings value into the world. Growing your business is similar to raising a child: There will be stages that they go through and the older they get, the more mature and independent they will become. And hopefully, at the end, you will have had the chance to fulfill your personal and professional potential. Of course, we could write books on the subject but ultimately, whether this is the right path for you is something you need to consider very carefully. We wish you luck and prosperity as you create your future. Sincerely, Kris

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